The One True Thing

The One True Thing

True worth isn't a black dressI pulled out a celebrity-gossip magazine that happened to be in my seat pocket on a flight to Denver. You know the type: oh-my-gosh, The Perfect Little Black Dress of the Season—or—Three Ways Your Partner Might Be Cheating! These kinds of articles are the taunt of today’s Western culture.

By the time the plane landed, I was made to feel thoroughly undersexed, unsophisticated, and deserving of costly beauty products. The true underlying message? —If you aren’t really working on being one of the beautiful people, you’ll end up alone.

True beauty isn't found in cosmeticsModern culture promises us the moon with superlatives: perfect skin in three applications or idyllic sleep with the right kind of mattress. We hope to find ecstasy in a perfume, identity in an expensive car, and attitude in owning the latest gadget. These things make us feel more attractive, momentarily. We turn a head or two.

But attention doesn’t satisfy, because it only parades as love. Many sacred hours are wasted with this kind of distraction. It’s a pretext, a facade, masking our fundamental need for relationship.Continue reading

One Solid Human Bond

One Solid Human Bond

bond with foodHaving just returned from Uganda—the pearl of Africa—I could tell you how lovely the land was following the rainy season. Flowering bushes, trees laden with mangoes or jackfruit, and lush garden plots seemed like Eden restored.

God speaks through creation’s resilient beauty.

A visit to the bank took my husband the better part of an hour, when at home it would take ten minutes. I sat with our driver David in the hot car, listening to a blaring sound system on the street. Animated voices spoke in a native tongue as though preaching, taking no breath.

The sidewalks teamed with activity—people selling grilled goat kabobs at our windows, the destitute pleading, women with babies strapped to their backs, motorcycle taxis whizzing by, a man with at least eight foam mattresses teetering on the back of his bicycle, and another with a huge stack of bananas. The kaleidoscope movement was ever changing, colorful, and even beautiful, yet there was something about their day-to-day survival that humbled me. I easily obsess on disparities.

This time, however, I asked God to help me be present in the day and leave the weightier concerns to Him. For me—that is growth.

God speaks in fresh ways when I am outside my familiar world.Continue reading

Living Anyway

Living Anyway

What if someone rewrote the story of Little Red Riding Hood from the point-of-view of the grandmother? Or how about the wolf? Might be a very different tale.

God is sometimes known to orchestrate those kinds of shifts—putting us in someone else’s head—through a movie, a book, or even a conversation.

In 1998, two movies released within four months of each other, and both deeply impacted me.

Hard Times AheadThe first one, Hope Floats, is a romantic drama about an unassuming housewife named Birdee, whose life completely crumbles when her husband reveals his infidelity in a very public way. Humiliated, she returns to her mother’s home to figure out her life.

The second movie, One True Thing, is a story of a young career woman named Ellen, who goes back to her childhood home to care for her ailing mother. Ellen idealizes her father, a celebrated novelist and professor. However, she barely conceals her distain for her mother, minimizing her as a shallow ditzy homemaker. Over the course of Ellen’s stay, she reconsiders her views. Her admiration shifts to her mother—a longsuffering wife with a philandering egocentric husband. The reversal turns into a crisis for her, because her mother is dying from cancer.

Both Birdee and Ellen reel under the pain of broken dreams. Life turned out so differently than they thought. The truth is, you can’t be human very long without experiencing some kind of heartache. I felt their strong inner conflicts. My own losses surfaced, and I wept bitterly.

Several years later, both movies were on the same TV channel back-to-back one afternoon. Was it odd, or was it God?

I decided to watch them again. However, this time something remarkable happened…Continue reading