Divine Spark Within

Divine Spark Within

Anna Dostoevsky, 1846-1918

“I’m glad to see you Fyodor, and in such a cheerful mood at that. Has something pleasant happened to you?”

“Yes, it has. Last night I had a marvelous dream.”

“Oh, is that all!” And I started to laugh.

“Please don’t laugh. I attribute great meaning to dreams. My dreams are always prophetic.”

“In that case, tell me your dream!”

“Do you see that big rosewood box? That is a gift from my Siberian friend …and I value it very much. I keep my manuscripts and letters in it, and other things that are precious to me for their memories. And so this is my dream: I was sitting in front of that box and rearranging the papers in it. Suddenly something sparkled among them, some kind of bright little star. I was leafing through the papers and the star kept appearing and disappearing. And this was intriguing to me. I started slowly putting all the papers to one side. And there among them I found a little diamond, a tiny one, but very sparkling and brilliant.”

(A few moments later, Fyodor continued…)

“I’ve been thinking up a plot for a new novel,”

“Oh tell me, do tell me about it,” I begged, very curious. And (then) a brilliant improvisation poured out. Never, neither before nor afterward, did I hear from him such an inspired tale as on that day.

—From Dostoevsky: Reminiscences by Anna Dostoevsky, his wife

One of my passions is exploring the elements that shaped people of great faith. I prefer the story behind the biography, digging deeper, past someone’s known accomplishments to the person they were when no one was looking. And particularly—what happened in their childhood.

So one April, at a writer’s conference in California, an editor asked me about heroes of faith. The topic was a regular feature in her magazine. A lot of big names easily came to mind, but I paused. What person really shaped my faith?

Fyodor Dostoevsky 1821-1881

“Fyodor Dostoevsky,” I said. “The great Russian novelist.”

Her face brightened with surprise. She asked if I would write a full-length article. Being a brand new author, I felt flushed with excitement. But I specified my interest: “I’d like to write about the man beyond his writing.”

I’d been a fan of Dostoevsky’s work since high school when I did my final English term paper on his novel, Crime and Punishment. In college I read The Brothers Karamazov. That story presented the human condition and the struggle of faith like no other, excepting Les Miserables by Victor Hugo. It moved me to the core as I wrestled with many of the same questions his characters asked.

For me, reading Russian literature was no small accomplishment. In junior high I had to go to Reading Lab because I was such a slow reader. Comprehension wasn’t a problem. I just wanted to read every single word. The funny thing is, it still takes me a long time to finish a book. But reading at a relaxed pace allows time to soak in a story, enter the conflict, and identify with the characters.

With a fresh writing assignment and the possibility of getting published I dove in. I ordered two books about Dostoevsky through Montana’s inter-library system. Anna, his wife, wrote one and his daughter, Lyubov, penned the other. I also read how his contemporaries felt about him.

Leo Tolstoy said, “To me, Dostoevsky was a precious person—perhaps the only person I might have asked about many things, and who might have given me answers about many things.”

Albert Einstein said,Continue reading

Stopping Dominoes

Stopping Dominoes

It all began with Duncan taking a bath. Seated nearby at a table, a small group of middle-aged women discussed how his great-grandfather’s health had deteriorated. In fact, he was about to die. Duncan listened intently—he’d never met the man and didn’t know he was even alive.

The scene changed. The setting was northern Ohio where his father’s side of the family lives and farms. Duncan challenged his father with burning questions:

“How come we’ve never seen him? Why didn’t we spend time with him?” Shocked and distraught, Duncan wept hard tears.

His father listened but failed to give any answer.

Then Duncan met his great-grandfather. The man was tender and kind. His presence radiated unconditional love. It felt like being with God.

Walk“I want to give you a gun,” said the great-grandfather. “It will be the best gun you’ll ever have.” He smiled. “Why don’t you come out to the place?”

“How far it is?” asked Duncan.

“Eight miles.”

Duncan turned to question his father in dismay. “And we’ve never been out there to see him?” A crushing sense of loss overwhelmed Duncan, and he wept for a second time.

So they traveled to the great-grandfather’s farm, and the patriarch showed them around. Though elderly and failing, his manner remained full of warmth and lovingkindness—soothing Duncan’s longing for a father’s love and acceptance. His father was there but remained a silent figure.

The great-grandfather spoke again to Duncan. “Now you pick out one of these guns and shoot it—any one you want. It doesn’t matter. And it will be the best gun you ever had.”

The dream ended there. Duncan gave me permission to share it with you.

This was a significant dream. Continue reading

Creating Space

Creating Space

Headache“People, especially men, hate being alone with their thoughts,” said reporter Rachel Feltman in The Washington Post.[1] Humans would rather be distracted than endure solitude, according to a recent study. What’s really baffling is we’re talking about a fifteen-minute experiment!

“People usually think of mind-wandering as being a bad thing, because it interrupts when you’re trying to pay attention,” stated Timothy D. Wilson, a psychology professor at the University of Virginia and lead author of the study. “But we wanted to see what happens when mind-wandering is the goal.” The results showed that “people didn’t like it much and found it hard.”

That article amazed me. It’s not how I feel about solitude, but in a way, it shouldn’t be surprising. The modern world has morphed into a culture of distractions with the Internet, smartphones, and social media.

So what? Why does that matter?

Because, as Feltman pointed out, “the ability to let the mind wander has been linked to greater working memory and increased creativity.” A lot of creativity is about forming connections between things in an unfolding sequence.

In another study, MRI brain scans confirmed that certain parts of the brain’s cortex are wildly active when people rest, daydream or allow their minds to wander.[2] It makes sense when you think about dreams. The brain is awake, though our bodies are asleep. In the same way, our minds can work in a different way when Continue reading