Cold Spots

Cold Spots

IMG_0005 2Last summer, my brilliant son, Nate, solved an age-old question. One beautiful blue-green day, my daughter and I were swimming across a bay of the French River. He was our lifeguard, staying slightly ahead of us in a motorboat.

The water felt wonderful except for the occasional cold spot. I told him I’d always wondered why there were warm and cold sections in the water. You’d think a river would have it all mixed up so you wouldn’t encounter such a stark change. Nate had studied the nature of fluids as a mechanical engineering student. He nonchalantly replied, “Oh that’s easy.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, swimming closer to the boat.

IMG_0241 2“The motor pulls colder water up from the bottom.” He said. “A powerboat essentially leaves a cold wake as it travels down the river. Swimming across the bay, you’re passing through the wakes, thinking they’re isolated cold spots.”

Then he gave me a wild look. “I’ll prove it to you!” All at once, he jetted big circles around us, bringing waves of freezing water up from the bottom.

2006 - 2007 226“You’ve lost your head!” I said.

But he wouldn’t relent.

“Okay, okay!” I shouted. “I believe you.”

2006 - 2007 227

Turns out he found his head.

Suddenly, it seemed so obvious, though I’d been puzzled about it for years.

Cold spots in the water are similar to hot spots—emotionally.

You’re going along, minding your own business, when something happens that triggers a huge emotional response. It comes on suddenly and is way out of proportion to the present circumstance.

HeadacheA flash of hot anger.

A surge of deep sorrow.

A paralyzing panic or fear.

sense and sensibility

 

It happened to me one night in 1995 while watching the movie, Sense and Sensibility.

I identified with Elinor, the older sister in the story. Following the death of her father, she tries to hold her family together in one crisis after another. She perseveres day after day with immense fortitude, though inside she is utterly brokenhearted. I felt her inner conflict and the weight of responsibility she carried. But I didn’t realize the extent of her struggle until the end, when the desire of her heart is finally fulfilled.

Unexpected happiness unbridles her hidden sorrow, and she sobs like a child.

The Holy Spirit came close. “That’s you,” He said, gently.Continue reading

The Trap of Joylessness

The Trap of Joylessness

A few days ago, I stumbled upon a Saturday Night Live skit called, “The Girl You Wished You Hadn’t Started a Conversation With at a Party.” Cecily Strong acts the role of the girl who is characteristically drunk and ditzy, with know-it-all opinions in a pseudo-activist kind of way. She’s looking for a fight. The “straight man” is played by Seth Meyers.

“So are you excited about the holidays?” He asks.

“Excited. I’m repulsed. All this ‘mercialism around Christmas is an outrage. It’s a trajesty. It’s like ‘What are we even doing?’ …” She scoffs.

“You really seem like you’re in the Christmas spirit,” he teases. What does one say to a contentious soul?

“You mean the Christ-mas spirit? Oh right, you don’t care about Jesus because you worship Hallmark.”

“Oh boy!” He looks away.

Later she asks him what he wants for Christmas.

“I don’t wanna tell you,” he says.

“Would you just relax? I’m just asking you what you want for Christmas.”

“Okay, well, I was hoping to get the new iPad.”

She responds with staged timing. “I asked for an end to genocide.”

“Oh, c’mon.” He rolls his eyes.

She slams him further. “Okay, so maybe the next time you’re on your new iPad…”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah…” He feels it coming.

“…Look up ‘How to be a decent human being.’”

And so it goes. Though she doesn’t really portray a Christian, her contrary nature is something I’ve seen in Internet exchanges and Facebook arguments by all kinds of people, including believers.

I stopped to reflect. Some have said that Christians would be called “the haters,” in the last days. In a culture that often reverses right and wrong, standing up for what’s right can be polarizing. Still it doesn’t have to be hateful.

Big stack of colorful Christmas presentsAs I watched the skit, I felt a twinge in my chest. Something else was stirring inside me. Continue reading

Slightly Out Of Reach

Slightly Out Of Reach

“A father holds out his hands to a child who is learning to walk, and he comforts the child with words and draws it toward him, but he lets the child feel the risk it is taking, and lets it choose its own courage and the certainty of love and comfort when he reaches his father over—I was going to say choose it over safety, but there is no safety. And there is no choice, either because it is in the nature of the child to walk. As it is to want the attention and encouragement of the father. And the promise of comfort. Which it is in the nature of the father to give. I feel it would be presumptuous of me to describe the ways of God…when there is so much we don’t know. Though we are told to call Him Father.”

A child feels the risk...

A child feels the risk…

This excerpt is a letter from the remarkable old pastor John Ames, to his wife, Lila, in Marilynne Robinson’s new novel, Lila. The wife has gone through hardscrabble beginnings and is searching for an answer as to why things are the way they are. Why do things happen as they do? Over the course of the story, her husband reveals what he’s come to understand about existence and suffering.

Premiers pasIn the pastor’s kind letter, God is portrayed as a father who offers certain love. At the same time, the child has to take that step and feel the risk of taking it. The toddler has to choose its own courage, because there’s no safety in those first steps.

And so it is for us in choosing steps of faith.

Bill Glass, former NFL star, has worked in prison ministry for decades. He’s shared his life message—“The Healing Power of a Father’s Blessing”—in and out of penitentiaries all over the world. Years ago, I heard his basic talk on the subject. It’s in my top five.

He says a father’s blessing conveys love only if it includes the following…Continue reading