The Trap of Joylessness

The Trap of Joylessness

A few days ago, I stumbled upon a Saturday Night Live skit called, “The Girl You Wished You Hadn’t Started a Conversation With at a Party.” Cecily Strong acts the role of the girl who is characteristically drunk and ditzy, with know-it-all opinions in a pseudo-activist kind of way. She’s looking for a fight. The “straight man” is played by Seth Meyers.

“So are you excited about the holidays?” He asks.

“Excited. I’m repulsed. All this ‘mercialism around Christmas is an outrage. It’s a trajesty. It’s like ‘What are we even doing?’ …” She scoffs.

“You really seem like you’re in the Christmas spirit,” he teases. What does one say to a contentious soul?

“You mean the Christ-mas spirit? Oh right, you don’t care about Jesus because you worship Hallmark.”

“Oh boy!” He looks away.

Later she asks him what he wants for Christmas.

“I don’t wanna tell you,” he says.

“Would you just relax? I’m just asking you what you want for Christmas.”

“Okay, well, I was hoping to get the new iPad.”

She responds with staged timing. “I asked for an end to genocide.”

“Oh, c’mon.” He rolls his eyes.

She slams him further. “Okay, so maybe the next time you’re on your new iPad…”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah…” He feels it coming.

“…Look up ‘How to be a decent human being.’”

And so it goes. Though she doesn’t really portray a Christian, her contrary nature is something I’ve seen in Internet exchanges and Facebook arguments by all kinds of people, including believers.

I stopped to reflect. Some have said that Christians would be called “the haters,” in the last days. In a culture that often reverses right and wrong, standing up for what’s right can be polarizing. Still it doesn’t have to be hateful.

Big stack of colorful Christmas presentsAs I watched the skit, I felt a twinge in my chest. Something else was stirring inside me. Continue reading

Of Shadows and Light

Of Shadows and Light

“Dear God, I cannot love Thee the way I want to.

You are the slim crescent of a moon that I see

And my self is the earth’s shadow that keeps me from seeing all the moon…

I do not know you God, because I am in the way.”

~Flannery O’Connor, A Prayer Journal 

Flannery O’Connor’s personal writings show a heart that longs for intimacy with God. Her initial entries, however, reflect feelings of failure. As a Catholic, she knew traditional prayers but noted, “I have been saying them and not feeling them. My attention is always very fugitive.”

One particular phrase caught my attention. She asked God what He really wanted from her, hoping to avoid the pitfalls of “scrupulous nervousness” and “lax presumption.” I believe countless people of faith either live in one mindset or the other. Or worse, they ping-pong between the two.

Labyrinth photoThink about it for a moment. Does the Christian life feel like a perpetual labyrinth, requiring constant attention to avoid a wrong turn or falling into a hole? Do we have to keep some sort of perfect equilibrium to get through the minefield of carnal life and finally win the pleasure of God?

Or do we compartmentalize our faith into something we do on Sundays? Does our prayer life boil down to “Help!” in times of urgency? Still, we’ve been baptized and know the Scriptures, and occasionally give a dollar to that guy on the street corner. So we’re set.

Is God breathing down our necks and wagging a finger? Or is He off in the distance, giving us an occasional thumbs up? Of course, neither image characterizes God.

I closed O’Connor’s book and felt a wave of gratitude. For years now, I have been free from the shadows of condemnation. As I describe in my book—being under condemnation feels like God is constantly disappointed with you. You come up short every day and say with resolve, “I’ll try harder tomorrow.” You spend hours baking cherry pies only to find out that God really prefers apple.

Somewhere on my long journey of faith, I discovered that freedom from condemnation is not presumption.Continue reading