During worship one Sunday, I saw an image of a wishbone. God held one side and offered me the other. Somehow, I knew if I pulled it, I’d end up with the short end.

I said to God, “What’s this about?” All at once, I heard in my spirit—disappointment in relationships.

Interestingly, the sermon that followed was about God’s desire for us to be one with Him—as in marriage. The wishbone was a signal to examine any wrong assumptions I held about God because of painful human relationships.

If you’re wounded in marriage, it’s hard to understand the “mystery” that Paul writes about in Ephesians 5.

For some, disappointment in relationships stretches back to earlier hurts with parents. Unresolved wounds in our original relationships play out in all current interactions.

Pastor Kim Unrau told his story as an example. Kim had a great dad—a dad who tucked him in, said “I love you” out loud, and told Kim he could be anything he wanted. His dad was stable and worked hard to provide, but also spent long hours away from the family, “advancing the kingdom.”

When Kim examined the past more closely, he realized his disappointment. He was living under several assumptions: First, that his father didn’t have much time for him. Secondly, when his father was around, he didn’t listen to him or pursue his heart. And finally, his dad always tried to fix him with pastoral platitudes. You could see the pain in Kim’s face as he shared.

Though Kim idolized his father, he was hurt by him. Left unresolved, those same assumptions shadowed his relationships with other men in authority.

Invariably, disappointment with people spills over into disappointment with God.

Around that time, my friend Pastor Jim Tharp wrote an article in Christian Renewal Ministries Journal. He pointed out that Christians coexist with many ongoing sins in their lives. He named a few, including the sin of “prolonged discouragement.”

Wait a minute! Did I read that right?Continue reading