Lose The List

Lose The List

Just before bed, I was flipping channels and landed on a new dating show called, Ready For Love. Tim, the eligible bachelor, told the story of losing his first marriage as he rose to fame in the music world. Though brokenhearted, he learned from this failure and felt ready to try again. He seemed genuine. Intrigued, I continued watching.The show featured “dating coaches” who instructed the female contestants on what to do, and more importantly—what not to do—in order to be more appealing. Tim would ultimately pick only one of them.

One woman named Danielle told Tim she had a list of over 50 things she wanted in a man. She said with great enthusiasm that Tim met over half of those requirements! It was unbelievable to her! But was this good news for Tim? His thoughts shifted to all the ways he didn’t measure up.

Later, the coaches lambasted Danielle. One said it was like starting a relationship “in debt.” What guy wants to be judged by such a high standard?

Yet think about it. How many of us carry around a list of what we expect from a perfect God? Sure, there might be some positive things:

  • Creator of new life
  • Good provider
  • Healer of sicknesses
  • Forgiver of sins
  • Planner of eternal life

But what about the negative side of the list—the things we hold against God if he doesn’t measure up:  My perfect God will…

  • Never allow an innocent to suffer
  • Always protect me from premature death
  • Never let bad people become leaders
  • Never give the devil any latitude
  • Let me enjoy a little bit a sin to keep life fun

Does God start out in debt to us? If we think God isn’t doing a good job of being God—then we probably have a list.

It’s a secret thing, these lists we keep. Sometimes the requirements are woven into our thoughts. The disappointment can be heard in the tone of our voices. It’s passive aggressive. And it could be our reason for staying in a far-away-from-God loop.

The coaches advised Danielle to lose the list if she wanted the guy, and the same could be said about our lists for God. What’s on your list that keeps God at arm’s length? I’ll share mine in the next post.


  1. I forget that God sees me as righteous as his son which leads me to feel guilty for not being as lovely a believer as all the other ones I know! This keeps my light dimmed. So I KEEP MYSELF at arm’s length. Make sense?

    Really like this example of the dating show you used. It’s perfect! Good job.
    suzee B