Living Anyway

Living Anyway

What if someone rewrote the story of Little Red Riding Hood from the point-of-view of the grandmother? Or how about the wolf? Might be a very different tale.

God is sometimes known to orchestrate those kinds of shifts—putting us in someone else’s head—through a movie, a book, or even a conversation.

In 1998, two movies released within four months of each other, and both deeply impacted me.

Hard Times AheadThe first one, Hope Floats, is a romantic drama about an unassuming housewife named Birdee, whose life completely crumbles when her husband reveals his infidelity in a very public way. Humiliated, she returns to her mother’s home to figure out her life.

The second movie, One True Thing, is a story of a young career woman named Ellen, who goes back to her childhood home to care for her ailing mother. Ellen idealizes her father, a celebrated novelist and professor. However, she barely conceals her distain for her mother, minimizing her as a shallow ditzy homemaker. Over the course of Ellen’s stay, she reconsiders her views. Her admiration shifts to her mother—a longsuffering wife with a philandering egocentric husband. The reversal turns into a crisis for her, because her mother is dying from cancer.

Both Birdee and Ellen reel under the pain of broken dreams. Life turned out so differently than they thought. The truth is, you can’t be human very long without experiencing some kind of heartache. I felt their strong inner conflicts. My own losses surfaced, and I wept bitterly.

Several years later, both movies were on the same TV channel back-to-back one afternoon. Was it odd, or was it God?

I decided to watch them again. However, this time something remarkable happened…Continue reading

Kingdom Culture – The Roseto Story

Kingdom Culture – The Roseto Story

ViticulteurThe men smoked unfiltered cigars and guzzled wine instead of sodas. They ate meatballs and sausages fried in lard with hard and soft cheeses.

No concept of the Mediterranean Diet here.

They ranged in age from 55-64. Many of them toiled in slate quarries where illness from exposure to gases and dust was expected.

But not these guys. For them, heart disease was nearly non-existent. They remained happy and healthy, though statistically considered a high-risk group.

Grilled chicken meat and sausages, pie and salad for dinnerIt was 1961. What was going on in this little town of Roseto Pennsylvania? Crime was rare. Applications for public assistance were few and far between.[i]

What was the secret to their security, health, and longevity?Continue reading

Subterranean Anger

Subterranean Anger

“I’m nice, but a little bit mean today,” my granddaughter said. In her own way, she was saying that she felt angry.  Laney is two-and-a-half.

Laney with kitty face“It’s okay to feel mad,” I said, stroking her bangs to one side. I reminded her that I felt mad at our dog for not coming when called.  “It’s just not okay to be mean,” I explained, “but you can be mad.” I wondered if she could understand the distinction.

Many years ago, when I was young, I decided to be the good child. Maybe I saw certain advantages in it. My sister had a bolder personality and got in trouble some.

I was a quieter soul, an observer.

I remember being given a small necklace. It had a white marble pendant with a gold band around its center. In fine script, The Golden Rule was engraved on the band. The simple ethical code made a profound impression on me.

Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you.

My family in 1962

My family in 1962

In some ways, trying to be good was connected to a deep love for my father. My dad was and is a safe, wise, and approachable man, and I was quite sure that he’d love me no matter what. Still, being compliant is often about winning approval.

I tried to do everything “right,” but I wasn’t perfect. I had a bit of gumption and remember getting spanked.

You, got spanked?” My husband goaded. “What for?Continue reading