Beholding

Beholding

When it happens to me, I feel fully alive. A momentary shift of perspective, sometimes intentional, sometimes a surprise. Often it’s a spiritual experience—even supernatural. What am I talking about?

Wonder.

The wonder of new lifeIt can occur in the most ordinary ways…a robin building her nest in the eaves of our front porch…tiny beaks appearing, open and hungry…the process of learning to fly.

The wonder of communicationOr how about my little ten-month-old granddaughter, lifting one hand to greet me. She’s on the cusp of forming words. I wonder at the miracle of language and the nuances of tiny gestures.

As author Anthony Doerr said, sublimity (is) “the instant when one thing is about to become something else. Day to night, caterpillar to butterfly. Fawn to doe. Experiment to result. Boy to man.”[i]

The wonder of creationWhen I watched Planet Earth, each episode inspired me to the point of worship. As it is written in Job, “Stand and consider the wonders of God. Do you know how God establishes them, and makes the lightning of His cloud to shine? Do you know about the layers of the thick clouds, the wonders of one perfect in knowledge? Can you, with Him, spread out the skies, strong as a molten mirror? Out of the north comes golden splendor; around God is awesome majesty.”[ii]

I marvel at the historical formation of America. Bono of U2 put it this way…Continue reading

Still The Mind

Still The Mind

Lord, I give you my creased brow and my gritted jaw. I hand over the rock in my stomach and surrender my fretful thoughts…how did I get in such a stew?

It starts like this…I met Amanda last summer. She’s a Canadian teacher who works with severely disabled kids. In particular, she described the ones who are permanently altered by their mothers’ alcohol abuse in pregnancy. They have “an abnormal appearance, short height, low body weight, small head size, poor coordination, low intelligence…and are more likely to have trouble in school, legal problems, (and) participate in high-risk behaviors.”[i] Her students are volatile, and can bite or turn violent in a heartbeat.

still willingAmanda has to enter her classroom wearing a Hazmat suit.

That one glimpse of the human condition can sink my boat for days, weeks, and then perpetually on a low simmer.

God, how can I trust You when suffering falls on the innocent? How can You bear the sorrow…

“But for the joy…”

His words distinctly interrupt my thoughts—if I’m paying attention.

Yet, God speaks in mysteries. I pondered that phrase for a while. It echoes what is written in Hebrews—“who for the joy set before Him endured the cross.”[ii] He’s promised a time when all things will be restored…where each life is sacred.  

It always comes down to a choice between despair and faith. Or I can limp along, still tormented in limbo.

Let me explain from a different angle.Continue reading

Bake The Cake

Bake The Cake

A cargo ship crossing the ocean came upon what seemed to be a deserted island. A line of smoke told otherwise. Maybe someone was stranded. The captain went ashore in a smaller boat and found three huts. A ragged-looking man appeared in the doorway of one.

Tropical island landscape“Are you and others stranded here?” asked the captain.

“Nope, it’s just me,” said the man. “I live here.”

“I see.” The captain scanned the other two huts. “And what’s this second hut for?”

“Oh, that’s my church,” the man said.

The captain eyes grew wide as he slowly nodded. “And the third one?”

The man shifted his feet in awkward silence. “Well,” he said in hushed tones, “that’s my former church.”

My father told me that joke. What a laugh we had! Often, our discontent with church has something to do with us!  Who knew! No fellowship of believers is ever going to be perfect.

Black and white grunge image of a teen girl cryingHere’s another take. A young man I know felt deeply frustrated with the dating scene. He’d gone out with several very nice girls. After the initial electricity of a new relationship, the girlfriend became too dependent, making the young man her entire world. Expectations felt suffocating. He didn’t have freedom to do things with friends without a pouty girl giving him the silent treatment. These girls weren’t bad partners—just undeveloped in their sense of personhood.

In the same way, we can put heavy expectations on the church and our pastors, priests, and ministers, creating a black hole that can never be filled. Many who serve in pastoral positions try hard to be all things and end up bone weary. Menschenmenge beim jubelnPeople with unmet needs shift from church to church, and some actually work the system.

It comes down to our own relationship with God.

Is it underdeveloped? Are we fledglings in our capacity to know God?Continue reading